So, here is the first thing you need to know about boys (and I have this on good authority). This might surprise you, but some of those same boys, if they had a "GoAskaDude.com" place to go? They would likely ask the same question about YOU.

It might go something like this: "So there is this totally cool girl named Carly who I want to be friends with but she appears to dislike me for no apparent reason."

Sometimes we just need to take the first step.

So, I figure if we're wondering about boys, we should actually seek their opinion. I contacted my friend John Hilton III (he's one of my "Links I Love" friends).

John's initial response was great. If these boys just don't like you and don't have any reason, WHY do you want to be friends with them? We want to preface this with a reminder that life is too short to worry too much about trying to befriend boys who aren't nice.

But, if you are just assuming they don't like you and they ARE nice guys and you are one of those great girls who wants to be friends with everyone, here are some of our thoughts:

-Ask them. John suggests that you might want to talk one-on-one with the boys. Say something like, "I've had the feeling that you don't like me very much and I wanted to know if I've done something that made you mad?" (Now, I personally would have rather babysat 5 sets of 2-year-old triplets when I was 16 then ask a boy that. BUT, John is pretty smart and if he thinks it might be worth a try, it just might be worth the try.) John says that this is good because if there IS a reason, maybe he could tell you.

-Be kind. Our next suggestion is my favorite. I'm a believer in the "kill them with kindness" strategy (and some of the boys I've known, I just about DID!). Whenever I've had someone in my life that I just thought didn't like me, if I wanted to befriend them, I would just wear them down (grin) by being kind. Even if they don't respond, say "hi" at seminary or school. Talk to them in Sunday School. If your ward is one of those where the guys sit on one side and the girls sit on the other, during opening exercises on activity night? Be brave and "break the barrier". Plop yourself down right in the middle of their side and ask one of the boys how his day was. Even if he acts like he doesn't care, secretly, he'll think it's very cool you did that. (and if you try something bold like that, we want to hear ALL about it!).

-Go to the scriptures. In 2 Nephi 32:3, we learn that the "words of Christ will tell you ALL things what ye should do." That's either true or it's not. ALL THINGS...even with boys. We suggest you tell the Lord about the situation, ask Him for help, and then open your scriptures. You'll find an answer. We know it (maybe the "war chapters" in Alma will be helpful!)

You know, when I was in high school there was a really great boy in my ward that never talked to me. Now, in fairness to him, I moved my junior year and wasn't very happy about it and so I didn't really go out of my way to be friends with the other youth (and, I was actually kind of shy and insecure then too). But, still, this particular boy appeared to not like me...for no particular reason...and so I never really made any attempts to like him in return.

The funny thing to me now is that whenever I go home for a visit and happen to see him at Church (now that we are both older and a little more mature), we actually have a lot to talk about. He's a great guy. I really like him...and I'm a little sad I missed out on being friends with him when I was 16/17. Maybe if I had been a little more brave, it would have been different.

I'll leave you with John's final thought...one of the reasons I think he's so great: "Be the best girl you can be. Don't worry if the guys ignore you or are rude. Sadly some guys are insenstive, and maybe your dealing with some of them. I think a key is to not let a boys opnion of you lessen you own sense of self-worth."

Amen, John. Amen!

So, Carly, you've got some options...let us know how it goes.